Once again I don't know where i stand, so dammit I may as well stand alone. I am who I am and at 35 years old I doubt much about me will ever change. I have a big heart and that's cool, but in a world of men trying to get over...it does not serve my purpose much. Not saying all men are like that but I believe the mass majority are. SO!!! I keep rolling the dice and with every throw my heart gets harder and harder. Why can't I just be me? Well I can but the results of that have been very disappointing. Folk want you to care...but don't want you to care. Especially if it requires them to reciprocate. There is so much I can offer to a relationship, but nothing is free. I'm not that hard to love...or am I?
I am still battling this headache from earlier today. I think it would be in my best interest to take a nice hot shower and just lay in the bed. I am going to go take my district exam tomorrow, so I'm hoping to be rid of this head hurt real soon. Missing my carebear, but I think things are no good. I got 2 out of the 4 things i ordered for him for valentine's day...that's if we make it that far lol! Note to self, never purchase a gift online for a man. If things go south, your stuck trying to make all those online returns. I am a thoughtful woman, I want to believe the best in people. Ugh!!! I don't want to slip back into that bad mood I have been having. I should stop here...for now at least.
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