Legs and arms hurt to much last night so I took the night off. Now its time to go do some cardio. I like running so I'll get about 30 minutes in on the treadmill then do something else....I'm going low carb today....so no intense weight training workout.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Monday, July 13, 2015
The 5 stages of Grief
Stage one....Denial. Once I found out what my situation with my love, I should of moved on to the last step of acceptance. But instead I was in denial about the possible end to our relationship...and I fought it. I made up and accepted every reason no to let go and I didn't. Now here I am again, feeling vulnerable, and alone. Feeling so many raw and negative emotions. Wishing he knew exactly how I feel but not really believing that it would make a difference either way.
Stage two...Anger. Next I experienced anger, where I figured out my worth. I hung out with friends, I thought to myself confidently that my love spoke for itself.
Stage three...Bargaining. During this stage emotions were high and the sex was intense. I reasoned with myself that there is still hope that my future would still include my love. I continued to treat my love like my king. Line crossed.
Stage four in the current stage I am in. Depression. I am feeling the loss of the man I love. I feel the disconnection in my chest. I feel like my heart is being torn in half. I'm not even sure he cares about how hurt I am right now. I am scared to lie here in the dark and not feel him next to me. To not have his leg thrown over mine and his face buried in my neck. I feel the loss of my love. I feel anxiety everytime I think about not holding him again. Next and hopefully soon comes acceptance. I hope I find that sooner than later. I need to let this go. No matter how bad I want to hold on.
Stage two...Anger. Next I experienced anger, where I figured out my worth. I hung out with friends, I thought to myself confidently that my love spoke for itself.
Stage three...Bargaining. During this stage emotions were high and the sex was intense. I reasoned with myself that there is still hope that my future would still include my love. I continued to treat my love like my king. Line crossed.
Stage four in the current stage I am in. Depression. I am feeling the loss of the man I love. I feel the disconnection in my chest. I feel like my heart is being torn in half. I'm not even sure he cares about how hurt I am right now. I am scared to lie here in the dark and not feel him next to me. To not have his leg thrown over mine and his face buried in my neck. I feel the loss of my love. I feel anxiety everytime I think about not holding him again. Next and hopefully soon comes acceptance. I hope I find that sooner than later. I need to let this go. No matter how bad I want to hold on.
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